Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
