happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
He kissed a someone with a penis
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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