ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
