I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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