is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
