I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Randomize
