Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
