I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I'm always down for nudity.
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