So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
