he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
