we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
the day after is always just damage control
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
