So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
