The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
