id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
