Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
