she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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