I think I died a long time ago.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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