it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
