She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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