I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
