i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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