Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
