So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
