I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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