He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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