Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
