That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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