I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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