You can't special order awesome
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
