i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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