As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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