everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
