put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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