ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
