Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
i think im in europe. pls send help
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
