I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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