mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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