His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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