dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
