just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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