I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
