Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
