Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
