after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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