Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
