$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
apparently the secret to your success is patron
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
