Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
