First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Randomize
