So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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