How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
